Unexpected Blessings

June 6th 2007 at 5:07 pm CDT I recieved a true gift from God. I will never forget this day, or the days leading up to this. It is said that the best things in life never come easy. Let's just say this is the best thing that has happened to me. Back then I didn't realize it...

I found out about this pregnancy when I was 7 months along. Let me tell you that was the shock of my life. This little boy was trying to tell me for a quite a while he was there, I just wasn't paying attention. How can this happen you might ask? After I had Andy I started birth control shots. My cycle stopped. Even when I stopped taking the shots because of side effects my cycles never restarted and was told it could take over a year. Yeah, I felt like crap starting that fall. Mike lost his job months before. Evenings I was working at a call center doing market research surveys at that time (yes, I was one of those annoying callers , don't kill me folks) and overnight or early morning I worked at a grocery store bakery either baking or working the counter. I hated the first job with a passion. I thought that and all the stress was making me so tired and throwing up. We didn't have much money or any insurance at the time so I just forced myself to keep going. I figured if someone found me passed out somewhere that something would have to be done then. Otherwise whatever happened, happened. He finally found a job and I got canned from the survey job (thank God!!!) . There were times I felt flutters in my stomach that felt familiar but figured it must be gas. It was still stressful around our house because we were trying to pick ourselves up finacially. Late Feb. that year I got really sick with a respitory infection that would not go away. The nurse practioner at the urgent care center chose the meds she prescribed because they were "safe for pregnancy". I just thought that was a precaution, as these folks tend to assume women of my age are pregnant if not known. But I found it funny she said it. By then the possiblity was on my mind but I was trying to deny it. When I took Mike to his eye doctor appointment an elderly lady kept asking when I was going to have my baby! I told her I wasn't pregnant. She didn't believe me. Later that month I felt movement inside of me I could no longer deny. I started buying tests. The electronic ones didn't register. Once I tried the one with the lines it was dark positive! I got into the doctor on March 26th 2oo7 and heard his heartbeat for the first time, and got my confirmation I was pregnant. If I would have known then how truely special this gift was as this was the due date of his baby sister that was born into Heaven last September. Two days later I got the ultrasound and found out there was a healthy baby boy inside of me. You would have thought this would have been such a happy moment and such a relief. I was scared out of my mind!!! We had very little money, was living in a very small apartment and I had so much going on with Eric and Andy. I had no idea HOW a baby was going to fit in here. Heck, I didn't even know where I would put this child to sleep. The ultrasound looked good but I could not let go of the fear that something was wrong that it didn't see. I did not take the best care of myself during this pregnancy since I didn't know. Mike was still new at his job at the time so he had very limited time off and no help with watching the other kids. With that came the fear that I was going to be giving birth to this baby at home in front of my other 2 sons. All I did was worry and cry these last months. I just wanted to run away. The induction was scheduled for 6/6. Mike was able to schedule some vacation time last minute. He took me to the hospital while the upstairs neighbor watched the boys. Once I was settled he went home to Eric and Andy and I was to call him when it was close to time. Then my parents would watch the kids for the birth. I did labor myself, and was prepared to give birth with only medical personnel present. That's how it was for Eric's birth. If I could do it then, I could do it again. I had to wait quite a while for the epidural so this was a painful experience. Once they gave me the epidural I was so numb and placed on my left side since my blood pressure was getting low. The phone was ringing but I could not turn to answer it because I was so numb. I was feeling pressure but the call button was out of reach. The doctor finally heard me yelling. Mike was then called, I was deemed ready to give birth and this show went on the road. Jonathan waited until his father came to make his grand enterance into this world. Here is the picture Mike took of him on his phone just minutes after he was born.

This little guy seemed so much smaller than his 2 brothers. He had a hard time getting used to drinking. There was a spot on his head where the skin did not grow in, so there was some concern about that. Otherwise he was very healthy,and so beautiful.

He was so tiny and skinny. I was scared to handle him. He was fiesty though. I have heard that the smallest ones can be the strongest ones...

This is the first picture taken of him at home, when the jaundice set in. This was a very difficult time because Mike was quite ill and unable to help. I was an emotional mess and overwhelmed with 3 young very needy children. This is where the scariest time of my life began. I so wish I could have these days back with a clear mind. While I wish I would not of had to go through that I have grown, learned so much and met the greatest friends on earth (at least on the internet) that I would have never gotten to know otherwise. I found direction in my life, and learned what I needed to do to get to where I wanted, and needed to be for myself and my children. Most importantly, I have this very handsome little boy

This little boy has made my life what it is now. I would not be the person I am now if it was not for him. He is healthy and happy and such a joy. Happy Birthday Jon. Mommy loves you bunches !!!